It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
