Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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