i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
