The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
