why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
