I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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