WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
