Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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