he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
