D3 body, D1 cock
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
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