Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
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