Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
