we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
