Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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