just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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