what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
