Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
