It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
