smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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