walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We need to rekindle our bromance
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Randomize
