I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
