Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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