There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Drake has all the answers
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
