Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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