apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
