sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
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