i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
