After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
