I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
