What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
