is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
