He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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