the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
