Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
These tits shall not be calmed
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
