Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
