I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
