i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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