She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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