You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
