dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
