I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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