After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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