Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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