No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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