I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
