i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize
