so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
