apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
