I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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