i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
