Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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