I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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