my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
