I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
